A few months ago, there was a trending hashtag #wifenotcook amongst Nigerians on social media. The hashtag was said to have been created by a Nigerian man on Twitter who wanted everyone to know that his wife was more than a cook and as usual, this got a lot of Nigerians arguing…Then another hashtag #husbandnotatm was created.
If only we knew what our priorities were, these hashtags wouldn’t have been an issue. Me when never eat belle full na me wan come follow people wen eat belle full argue. For why na?
When it comes to the African woman, I don’t think we relish enough in our strengths. The ability to multi task mostly 🙂
Before the dawn of Christianity, the African woman has always worked. Not only have we always worked both inside and outside of the home, we have also cooked in addition; even before the arrival of feminism. Our roles have never changed.
In the early days, the men were always put first and “seen” as stronger. They were left to do the hunting and most of the farming. Sometimes, the women also went farming too and with their babies on their backs. When they got home in the evenings, the woman would still have her baby on her back and still prepare dinner for her family. Now ask yourselves “why was the life expectancy of the male lower in the early days as opposed to the womens’?”
Looking at this from a medical point of view as regards our health. It made the African woman live longer. We moved around a lot more than our male counter parts, we went to the farm, we cooked, we took care of our children and lookingat the benefits of exercising, it was more beneficial to us.
I grew up watching my mother build her career as a Chef and she was also a mother, a wife to my father and a “cook” to us. The African woman is one of the strongest specie on the planet. We are known to juggle child birth, mothering, wifing(for lack of a better word) and a successful career.
When I wrote about my opinion on this debate, a few people said in reply “you would say this because you’re a chef.” And in my head I replied “if only you know what the ‘lazy’ in lazychef means.” 🙂
There is a saying that “no matter how much education a woman has, it all ends in the kitchen.” Derogatory? “yes!” And this is possibly the reason why some people dey vex. But funny enough, it is so for some men too. There are men that cook too and they do it daily. For instance, in Germany there are house husbands who take care of their children and cook while their wives work. May be the men doing more these days is the reason their life expectancy has increased. They don’t sit around waiting on us to cook anymore; neither do they wait for us to clean and run after the children.
One thing I don’t understand is why we as Africans just want to beat and drag this issue of “to cook or not to cook” like a dead horse. Yet it’s this same women that will say with all alacrity to their husbands
“my money is my money and your money is ours.'” Hear ye! hear ye! #husbandsnotatm (laughs in Urhobo)
I actually wrote the post below during the debate:
Me…I’ll cook. I love to. It’s my thing. I’ll cook for my husband and children…I won’t like my husband and children eating from other people…
As a man or a woman, cooking is a skill everyone needs…
At some point I thought I didn’t need it until I had to learn to make food for my father(God rest his soul).
You can’t come on social media and create a hashtag #wifenotcook for other married women to follow and help you trend. Who will cook for your children?
And to the single ladies helping the hashtag trend, please wait until you get to that bridge for you know nothing yet….
Most married women making this argument, will now leave the rest of you, turn off their phones and face their husbands. Some even kneel down to serve their husbands the food they tell you not to cook…
Listen, what works for family A may not and probably will not work for family B…know what works for you.
Start trending useful things like #jobforthejobless…
I’m tired of all these needless arguments…especially by my people. With this recession going on, the only happy moment is probably time spent with your family at the table.
Apart from me, some of my friends also had a few things to say…
“You want to have bellanaija wedding and you don’t want to cook or put food on the table. We that have been in it for 18 years now, what do you think we’ve been eating? Flies ba? You gon be fine!”Kyke
“All of una wey dey shout #WifeNotCook upandan. Are you well? Are you not putting the cart before the horse?
How many of una go still be wife this time next year? But e sure pass for una say all of una go still be cooks next year. After all, na who go make the Indomie and concoction rice wey you go chop as you dey cry say ‘Ozband waka comot, or e play go meet the side chick/hen?
Una know say hungry be like armu robber? E dey beat people to STUPOR, whether you wear ring wey big pass Lekki bridge or you single pass decimal point. Una never start. Me I am a cook, not wife. Because #NaFoodSurePass
Oya…comman beat me.” Ruona
As a result of this #wifenotcook argument, a Facebook friend who happens to be a guy decided to cook eggs. Since we insisted that guys don’t cook, he cooked eggs to #pepperdem…and #pepperdem he did…He dun join bad gang. His very simple recipe for eggs is below…A man’s recipe if you may. The first time I used his recipe, I added smoked paprika to mine and he insisted that I was cooking something else…I had to “untweak” the recipe and it was still amaze 🙂 I made mine a little dry because I really don’t like stewey eggs. I just made sure I cooked the tomato sauce until it was dry before stirring in the eggs. I hope you enjoy it.
Wife, Not cook. The Eggs Won't Cook Themselves...
- 3 large eggs(whisked)
- 1 tin sardine
- 4 roma tomatoes(diced)
- 1-2habanero peppers(deseeded and diced)
- Half a small onion(sliced)
- salt to taste
- Heat oil, add a pinch of salt to the oil and shake the pan. Add the onion and sauté until translucent. Stir in the tomatoes and cook until reduced and rendered.
- Stir in the pepper and the sardine(flake first). Cook for 3 minutes; then stir in the eggs. Stir until the eggs are fluffy and serve with yam, rice or even eat with agege bread 🙂
Great! Thanks for the plug-in…
Thank you for sharing
Lol! ? what an argument! This can only be a Nigerian or African issue…. It’s well! Not a wife yet but the main cook!! Don’t need anyone coming to the kitchen to scatter everywhere ?
Haha! I know right. Don’t bring yourself in my kitchen to yeye the place. Thank you Ene.
I love a man that cook and also the wife cooks. I hate when it only one party that does all the cooking in a home. It can be very stressful for a wife to do all the cooking , care for kids and have a career. Even in this modern generation of ours, our children should not be watching only mummy doing all the cooking,it does not send the right message. A man should be able to cook for the home like even simple breakfast like pancakes to cheer the family. I really don’t see why most African men want the woman to do it all. a woman gets tired too and she need to relax some days. Man must cook!lol
Thank you Vanessa
Hahah..These hashtags are an african thing. Thank you an entertaining read.
Wife, not COOK? Its interesting that men take it as obvious that wives should be great cooks…